lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
