Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
