She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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