I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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