His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The ass gains better be worth it
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