I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
