I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
