i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
