Dual....:-)
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
