The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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