I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When did angry sex become our thing?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
