I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
