i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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