I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
