he wants to bone in the snuggie
Edward fifth and chaser hands
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize