so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
