Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
