Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
