Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
please come you make the beer taste better
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like a drive thru vagina
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
