i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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