Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
