the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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