I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
