i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
