We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
