You made me cry and you don't even care
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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