I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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