It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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