Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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