if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
