why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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