I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
