i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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