I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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