Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need a beard to bite.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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