If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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