I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
