Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
