her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
