i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
