do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
