I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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