2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
