i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
