how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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