Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think I sprained my soul last night
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
