It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
