Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
