i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
