Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
A bitchslap is in order.
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