Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
the liver wants what the liver wants
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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