It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Drake has all the answers
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
