Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
