he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish you could order shots online.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
