physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
