glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
did i just pee glitter
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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