grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
